Friday, February 23, 2024

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Imperfectly perfect motherhood – Part 1

 

The past two weeks have been very hectic for me, my one-year-old daughter Rachel developed a flue that went on to become a full-fledged cough. As a result, I spent a greater part of my days nursing, comforting and trying to get her to eat something. All this whilst also keeping up with my five-year-old son Ryan who happens to be a very busy body on his own. It made me think about the joys and struggles of being a mother. My experience of motherhood has been most rewarding and yet sometimes very challenging. I have had moments when I have found myself wondering what I did I get myself into. 

 

A good example is when Ryan was around two months and he would cry every night nonstop for three hours because of colic. I think colic is every new mother’s nightmare because often there is very little you can do to help soothe the baby or at least that was the case in my experience. The colic drops hardly worked for Ryan. I remember the first time he started crying because of colic I panicked thinking something was wrong with him. However, a visit to the pediatrician assured me he was a healthy baby just having colic which he would eventually grow out at around the age of two or three months. Those colic days felt like the longest two months ever and being a first-time mother every night I kept wondering is it always going to be this hard. Yet eventually it did get better, he grew out of it and started sleeping peacefully throughout the night. Now it is a distant memory, thankfully Rachel did not have any colic issues. 

 

The good thing about being a mother is that you figure it out as you go, some lessons you can only learn through hands-on experience. Perhaps there are perfect mothers out there who always get everything right every-time but as for me, I have had my fair share of not so perfect moments, for example…

 

  • There are times when I have let my picky eater son eat cereal for supper just because it’s one of the foods that he genuinely loves and eats without a hustle. Ryan is not a picky eater because he likes junk or sugary foods, on the contrary, he does not even care about ice cream, pizza or foods like Mc Donalds. Ryan is just not adventurous when it comes to food and takes his time trying out new foods. When he does take a liking to something new I honestly get over-excited and offer it a tad too much. A good example is when he started eating Oreo biscuits, I literary bought a big box full of them for him luckily it was summer holiday so he had ample time to burn out the sugar. I was just glad he had agreed to try out something new though sweet. He is eating habits are improving with age so I know that this phase too will pass, for now, I will continue to do what I can as a mother to ensure he eats well.

 

  • A few weeks ago I made an error of somehow forgetting to carry Rachel’s baby bag at home while we were going out for my driving lesson. This was all thanks to Ryan who took forever to wear his shoes and I put the bag down so that I could help him. As if she knew that I had left the essentials at home a few minutes after we had just left the house she decided to do the poop of her life. She literary spoiled everything I will not even talk about the fragrance that filled the entire car. We had to make a U-turn and go back home, I kept looking at her thinking but how come today of all days you decided to change your poop schedule? As a result I ended up being 20 minutes late for my lesson, meanwhile, she smiled and cooed as if nothing had just happened.

 

  • Last week I packed some pasta for my son’s lunch box for school and somehow forgot to pack a fork. I only realized it when I was unpacking his lunch bag in the afternoon when he came back from school. This was not the first time forgetting to put a fork either. Thankfully his teacher always has some disposable spoons on hand to come to the rescue of moms like me, so at least he managed to eat his pasta.

 

  • There is what I call the play-dumb-trick that I do sorely for my sanity. Playing dumb is when say for example Ryan bumps onto something and I can see that he is not injured or badly hurt in any way. Instead of rushing to say sorry which often results in a dramatic pool of tears on his part, I just pretend as if I did not see anything. The funny thing is how he always checks to see if I noticed it as if to decide whether he should cry or continue playing. When I play dumb he may choose to come and tell me that he got hurt without any tears and like a loving mother I say sorry love. Case closed dramatic tears averted and peace prevails. However, if I happen to make eye contact after such an incident and rush to say sorry then its game over. I am guaranteed to be dealing with a full let down of tears. Rachel also happens to be at that age where if she sees Ryan crying she also starts crying. 

 

These are a few examples of my not so perfect moments, yet despite them, I still try to be the best mother I can be to my children. I may not be perfect but I do know without a doubt that I am the perfect mother to my children. To every mother out there I am sure you too have your moments, I guess I can only say that they are part of the excitement that comes with this amazing journey of motherhood. They do not make you a bad or inadequate mother but rather a mother trying to be and do her best for her children. So give it your best shot, enjoy every moment the good and the bad times knowing that no one can do this mothering thing for your children the way you do. You are what makes each day special to your children just the mere fact that you are there makes all the difference. 

 

Remember you may be imperfect at times but you are still the perfect mother to your children. So here is to all the imperfectly perfect mothers out there!!!

 

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